Dear Abby: My married friend is openly trying to have an affair with my wife

Dear ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 30 years. Over the past two years, a friend of ours (also married) has taken an interest in my wife. He obviously finds her attractive, as most men do, but I’m trying to figure out what his intentions are.

He makes comments to me about her and her body, so if he’s trying to hide his love for her, he’s not doing a very good job. I know my wife finds him attractive too, although when I mention her name she shrugs and says they’re just friends. He has a beautiful wife and seems to be a devoted husband and father to his grown children.

I know my wife loves me, but his frequent comments are bothering me. I don’t always give my wife the attention she deserves, so should I step up my game to avoid someone else from doing so? Should I be concerned that this man’s intentions are more than “just friendly” and talk? – SUSPECT IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SUSPECT: You have the right to tell this friend that his comments about your wife’s body are inappropriate and you want them to stop. You also have the right to become a more attentive husband. I’m sure your wife would appreciate it. I do note Think it’s necessary to ask this man if his “intentions are more than just friendly.” You weren’t born yesterday and you already know the answer is yes.

Dear ABBY: I got out of rehab two months ago. While I was there, I met someone. “Annie” lives in Florida, and I live in California. We are both doing great and I believe we make each other stronger.

Do you think a long distance relationship can work? I heard that it is not possible. She is recently divorced and so am I. Annie has two children, 15 and 16 years old, and therefore, she cannot leave Florida. I also have two children, 11 and 16 years old, and I cannot leave the state for the same reason. But our kids will be going to college in a few years, and I really care about him.

I know how hard it is to find someone. Over the past three years, I’ve dated 20 women. None of them are someone I would want to be in a relationship with. Annie is perfect for me. I said we have to take it one day at a time. She has flown here twice to see me, and I will fly to see her next. I know this relationship has its challenges. People tell me that anything is possible and that I should see where it takes us. – HOPE IN THE DESERT

DEAR HOPE: In three years, Annie’s youngest child will be 18. Will her children go to college? It will be seven years before your youngest child is considered an adult. Would Annie be able to move to California when she is no longer bound by a custody agreement?

I agree with the people who tell you that anything is possible. It’s the truth—as long as you and Annie are prepared for a long-distance relationship in the coming years. You both have your own sobriety to maintain, children to support, and relationships with exes that may or may not be problematic. For the foreseeable future, you and Annie must agree to keep your options open and not rule out relationships with others. If you are meant to be together, it will happen.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.