“My wife thinks that half of my inheritance is hers, but I am not sharing any of it”

A man has taken to Reddit after a miscommunication between him and his wife regarding his inheritance became apparent.

While the husband said the inheritance was all his, due to the death of both parents, his wife has started to share her ideas on how to spend it – but he has no intention of sharing.

Now, he’s asking others – is it wrong for him to want the final call on how to spend the money?

“My heritage is mine, not ours”

“Years ago I was given a st-ton worth of stock when my parents started showing signs of dementia. Cut to this year and both of my parents have passed, and I’ve inherited another large chunk of money in various types of accounts,” the man began.

Long story short, my wife thinks half is hers and she has ‘ideas’ on how to spend almost all of it. It has never been mixed with mutual funds.”

The man went on to ask other Reddit users how to attack the situation and whether or not he should say anything at all.

“Would I be an a-hole if I fully informed her that my inheritance is mine, not ‘ours,’ and while I am willing to accommodate her wishes, I will be the final authority on how those funds are spent?” How would I ‘break it’ to her the right way?” he said.

“We have a great marriage and so far we’ve never had a serious dispute about money.”

“Why don’t your plans include or include each other?”

Many commenters on the post were quick to jump to the woman’s defense, asking why their finances aren’t separated — especially when, according to the poster’s responses, the two have been married for 35 years.

“I don’t know about you, but in our house we don’t share anything and we don’t share it between us. It’s mutually ours and we mutually decide what to do with our resources,” said one commenter.

“The real question: Why don’t your plans include or include each other? My husband and I also have inheritance from our parents. His is much more earth-shaped than mine. But all our plans are based on our dream home, our travel/cruise plans, our children’s future, our savings, etc. Even where our plans are more individualistic, such as his office (a large one with staff) and my office (a small room), or any business planning (commercialization of land/farmhouse, leasing, etc.), we are always us as a team. ,” another agreed.

“We discuss and argue like a normal couple. But it never occurs to us that it is his money or mine. It has always been ours.”

Others said it would depend on her ideas for actually spending the money, and how that matches up with the amount of money received.

“There’s a world of difference if she wants to spend the money on a house that will set her up for life vs. frivolous spending,” said one.

“Depending on the amount of money and her demand, I would save my argument until necessary. If I get 10k and she wants to redo the kitchen, I’m sure she’s not redoing the kitchen,” added another.

“Why don’t you discuss things?”

However, almost all comments agreed that there should be some kind of conversation between the two.

“Are you in a partnership or not? Of course it’s your money, but you should talk to your WIFE about how to spend or save it. You are married. Anyone who makes any unilateral decisions is an a-hole,” one commenter said.

“My husband and I have been in a similar situation. He was gifted a ton of money and wealth when his grandparents died. I did NOT claim half and decide how to spend it. My husband also didn’t scream “MINE” and pack it like a dragon. We sat down and talked about family and financial goals,” said another.

“If your marriage is good, why not discuss things and use the money to invest in your future and indulge some desires together? She shouldn’t be greedy and she doesn’t deserve half of it, but work with her!”

“If you lead with ‘mine’ I can see how she’ll automatically think you’re an ass,” agreed a third.

“Instead, lead with ‘this is my plan for what to do with the money.'” Since you’re happily married, I think you should also tell her why—talk about the future, retirement, long-term plans. Ask for opinions hers and if she starts pushing her ideas, just shut them down carefully for whatever reason. Luckily, she’s shown her hand, so you should be able to counter these with common sense. . If she keeps pushing or arguing, then shut her down completely.”